Squeezy's Gang

As stupid as this might seem to some:
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Squeezy the Pension Python would work if Squeezy were to add some friends to tell the full story.  After all, did the Kroft people send H. R. Pufnstuff out alone?  No they had Witchiepoo, Freddy the Flute and a coterie of overstuffed rodents to flesh out their plot lines which were not nearly as complicated as the pension situation in Illinois* which can be summed up as:

Spineless innumerate politicians, abetted by malleable actuaries, selling out taxpayers and bribing public workers with future benefits so exorbitant as to allow for no possibility of full payment thus creating a crisis necessitating cutbacks in all government services not directly provided by campaign contributors.

Yes Squeezy relates the crisis part but what about a menagerie to tell the rest of the story?

Blinky the Short-sighted Owl

Swoopy the Pay-To-Play Vulture

Sandy the Public Worker Ostrich

Wimpy the Taxpayer Sloth

Slithy the Actuarial Worm

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* Notwithstanding the oedipal undertones in the episode “Dinner for Two” in which Jimmy and Freddy both age 70 years when the clock family’s time machine malfunctions and Witchiepoo mistakes Jimmy for an old man and falls in love with him.

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